i would have you, if it were not you
and could not be traced back to me,
die in that corner a thousand times,
so i could see it from all angles
and hear its myriad echoes
and feel the gamut of feelings.
i would have you be subservient death,
a subject, an appetizer, an observable condition,
because i have two loves that surround you---
to be the painter worthy of paint
and to quiet my mind of this concern
ready then for another subject.