#poetry - on the ocean with you

i am sorry for my silence
and absence today.
have not been able to bring
myself to talk to anyone,
so please do not take it
                  personally.

most present in my mind
are a backlog of concerns
that must immediately be measured
and brought to swift control.

i am fast
with realization that,
until then, any pleasure
this world offers
amounts to only the thinnest apparition,
having no security,
nor promise of future harvest---

being no real thing at all
except whatever realness
there is of a dream.

i've recognized in you
a great and beautiful spirit.

no part of me wants to tamper with that.

so i owe you this explanation.
i'm not bleak as
the last bit of writing implies.

but i am stretched thin
having expanded outward
in all directions

and so to conserve myself
long enough to effect
the resolutions of my concerns,
its time to retract
and focus down
as if it were a fact
there will be no tomorrow
and so it must all be done tonight.

for what its worth,
i wanted to be out
on the ocean with you today.